Bedtime Stories

While I don't remember all the details, there were always these funny little stories my mommom used to tell us kids. I'll do my best to recreate...

...Things are well. Just today I saw a sugar plum fairy climb a street sign to grab a red, yellow and green taffy. It was quite the spectacle, and stopped traffic for miles. Oh, and all the tiny men that moved into my closet finally moved out because I refused to iron my dress shirts. It turns out that they can be pretty unforgiving. They told the Queen on me and she sent her favorite umbrella as a sign that if I didn't learn to behave then I would soon find myself wet behind the ears. I took the umbrella, only to be nice, and decided to use it as a table when I am eating. I figure that whenever it gets dirty I can clean it off in the rain. So it wasn't all bad.

And if you were wondering, my refrigerator decided to stop running and returned after three years of living off the coast of Nova Scotia. We came to an understanding. And despite the warranty I had on his head, he promised to turn the light off when I shut the door, as long as I would talk to the salad about dressing in front of everyone. Apparently it was all a terribly embarrassing situation and the mustard kept turning red and getting mistaken for ketchup, which really upset the tomatoes that had spent so much time getting ready. I talked it over with the corn and they told me it would be ears before things would be normal again. But like I said, it all seems to be coming to an end...



That's all for now, but I'm sure you get the gist..